the air is changing again
berlin openings, nyc travel, teaching, performing, what my friends are up to
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it’s raining and i’m relieved, an allowance to crawl inside of myself again after a summer of getting lusciously taken by the currents of new community, new rhythms, surrendering to no rhythm whatsoever, spontaneity holding the torch for the first time in a long, long time. i danced again, so much, both by myself in my studio and into the wee hours of the morning with sweaty, sweet friends. i seldomly slept fully, ate bountifully, got distracted from my grief, bluntly reminded, then distracted, again and again.
handshakes have almost become obsolete while kissing my friends hello and goodbye has become the standard. i started regularly eating meat again after 10+ years as a vegetarian and my menstrual pain decreased by 75%. my friends started calling me spiderman this summer and i didn’t know that was the gender/life/belonging affirmation that i needed. my phone scares the shit out of me—trying to carve out more time each day to turn it all the way off and slip into slow time with my neighborhood tree guys who teach me so much about attention. i’m learning piano after a decade or more of gaslighting myself out of engaging with instruments and music making. i think about going back to school every day, i think about leaving the city everyday. yet i feel more dedicated to non-institutionalized creative practice each day, i feel ever more grateful to this metropolitan swarm of generously queer freaks i’m immersed in each day. what a bounty.
i’ve really been reckoning with the intensity of living somewhere where no one knows more than two years of me, still somewhat a stranger to those who’ve taken me under their wing in our overlapping, converging projects of love. introducing all of me to so many new souls in the midst of the slow burn of heartache repair is the biggest test of bravery that life has thrown to me. i don’t yet feel particularly brave, but perhaps bravery is not necessarily something you yourself always feel but more of something one witnesses in those who forge ahead despite timidness and not knowing at all where the edges are.
berlin tattoo openings
i barely tattooed this summer as i was blessed with some dance work for the first time in a few years (yes, i’m coming, at least partially, out of retirement) and my bodywork practice had a bit of a special swell. but i’m ready to dive back into the poking world, with some softer textures and landscapes. feeling a little less drawn to line work (though still down to go there!) and more drawn to the ephemeral whispers of shading and percolating volume.
some recents:
and some drawings from my time at larret in between monumental dances and cold river plunges, would so love to do some of these:
bodywork
continuously open to bodywork sessions at my studio in kreuzberg, practicing massage and craniosacral on a sliding scale. i’ve had some really beautiful, affirming sessions recently that have reminded me why i continue practicing and why somatic support is so important in our perpetually dissociating world. thank you to all who trust me with your bodies, it does not go unfelt. you can reply to this email, if you’re curious.
and thank you to my dear friend tere więcko for capturing a little snippet of this part of my world. @poruszone.fotografia on ig, if you are in need of some photos :)
nyc next month <3
new york! i am returning sooner than expected :’) i was too depressed last time for the trip to really count. trying again now that i have recovered a bit more of my vitality. i’m in town oct 16th-nov 2nd, and damn, leaving the exact day i moved away three (??) years ago…
tattoo: i’ll be posted up again at forkeeps in bushwick :) i love this sweet studio, where i made my first tattoo. excited to playyy and sit together for a long while. we can do flash, custom or freehand, all are fun and nourishing for me these days. particularly loving when folks give me a piece of land to abstract, making maps of beloved corners of the earth on your skin.
bodywork: a handful of you have expressed interest in receiving a session while i’m in town. i don’t have my practice dates for that lined up just yet, but if you’d like to work with me this time around, just reply to this email and i’ll reach out with specific dates later on!
dance: some things to be announced later… but in general i’d like to get in the studio when i’m in town??? who else wants to?
really, really looking forward to coming home and hugging you
weekly class at 90mil begins again (today!)
i’m returning to my falling series once again starting TODAY through mid-october at 90mil. i changed to a later time upon request, so that my buds with daytime obligations can join. it was such a sweet time in the spring, i hope to see you for this iteration.
sliding scale 5€-15€ (+5€ for a membership card), cash only
no online sign ups this time, just show up!
address: an der michaelbrücke 1
in the age of the collapsing empire, learning to fall is one of those essential tools for the survival kit. working with a queer and consent-based framework of contact improvisation, we will find braver, more tender ways to fall into and out of the floor/earth (our first and most important partner) and question what it means to fall in more directions than just “down”. for those open to touch and weight sharing, we will research paces and paths that lead us toward consensually falling into one another (and inevitably how to receive one’s fall with care and solidarity). we will only move at the speed in which we can listen. basic bodywork tools will be offered to support us in supporting one another, as well as remembering the parts of our bodies that we often forget to feel. we’ll inquire about our relationship with gravity, playing with,
surrendering to and rebelling against it, while asking ourselves and each other: what is possible in the aftermath of a fall? how can we get more acquainted with the moments just before a fall? what if collapse is nothing more than a beginning? how can falling be a practice of learning to be held? all bodies and experiences welcome. this class is completely improvisational and you have autonomy to choose how you would like to participate (yes, observing is participating!). the last 30 min of class will be dedicated to an open jam space. failure is celebrated, and perhaps required.
bring a friend!
the untalented show: sept 12th 8pm at 90mil
this summer i birthed a clown character that i am calling wet man. middle aged, strangely dirty face, mediocre clothes, and completely soaking wet. he hasn’t seen anyone in a very long time and desperately needs platonic physical connection, which proves hard being so wet, and frustrating when he doesn’t even know it. this guy is still finding his way into my body but feels dear to my heart, as i am someone who can be very slow and confused in early stages of connection, awkward and fumbling with words.
i’m eager to bring him to 90mil to the untalented show. as per the rules of the show of bringing untalent, he’ll be playing piano. he’s three lessons in, surely performance ready. there’s no link to the show but you can keep an eye on the 90mil telegram (@neunzigmil) or the untalented show ig.
what my friends are up to
queer ballet with carro: i still somehow find myself loving this fucked up, colonized dance form. it’s a familiar home to my body, hilariously indulgent, and i love the way it makes my ass feel. my friend carro is starting a queer ballet class (today!) that i’m really excited to get to at some point. happening a few times a week at dock 11. sign up here or on usc.
pirate care book launch at casino: i loved reading this book this year and some of my friends are helping facilitate a book launch in a few weeks. come sit and discuss different forms of disobedient care occurring in situations when care itself is criminalized. we are seeing it everywhere—funneling funds to gaza, the freedom flotilla, diy hrt, free health care clinics devoid of institutionalized “care”—and we will be needing it more and more. sept 18th at casino, register for participation here.
I WANNA BE ON TV by kelpy cathedral: i very serendipitously ran into kelpy (who lives in nyc) at casino this summer, someone i knew mostly as an acupuncturist and recently found out that they have a whole music making piece of themselves. i listened to their album on repeat yesterday and you should too: a euphoric, driving, bizarre pop journey, a queer celebration that will make you giggle. listen to their ablum on bandcamp. their new music video made my week.
CAPYAC music video and album to come: my flatmates have a band that i love very deeply. i got to see them play a lot this summer— so damn fun to dance to, always bringing us into some freaky altered space (we went through a wormhole together at some point). their new music video gave me a sense of hope i hadn’t touched in a while. their new album comes out in november!
i’ll end it here, thanks for reading as always. enjoy the last licks of summer and see you somewhere on the descent.
love,
holly
